17

這個寒假以來，july常常和系計中的伙伴們玩在一起。還記得第一次在系計中開會聽到她的聲音時，就覺得july學姊的聲音和講話的方式都好特別，果然是一位很好相處的學姊。:D

最近和她聊天時我又發現她也喜歡歌手椎名林檎，那一次，不知不覺就聊到了「17」這首歌。「17」由椎名本人自己作詞作曲，收錄在「罪與罰」這張單曲的最後一首，在她21歲時發行（她現在快要30歲了）。我上學期聽到這首歌，覺得這首歌完全唱進我的心裡；那時有好一陣子我對未來一點都沒有把握，也沒有盼望，常常焦慮、哭泣。

17歲是一個怎樣的年紀呢？是開始發現自己與社會格格不入嗎？是開始問自己「我是誰」嗎？是意識到人生的迷惘嗎？17歲的我，那經常在西門町、中正紀念堂、重慶南路、南海學區、台北地下街流連忘返的我，周旋於不同人群之間最後放棄自己的我，年少輕狂覺得沒有人會了解我的我…；至終沒有安然地從「17歲」長成一位明朗的女生。莫怪上了大學，還得重新面對內心幼小的自己。

 

17  4'32"
Lyrics/Melody: 椎名林檎

Now I'm seventeen, my school is in the country
Students wear trainers, read the same magazines
Now I'm seventeen, my school is getting tiresome
Teachers they're so young, singling me out

Only like, philosophy, and after school time
That's what I call my own, my own time
Nice girls meet nice boys end of school day
While other girls go straight home, talking 'bout soaps, and then
I go home alone, like it watching nameless people
Surfing subways, traveling somewhere, nowhere

Now I'm seventeen, I do not have a title
Depend on no one else, busy being kind

Only like philosophy, and after school time
That's what I call my own, my own time
Nice girls meet nice boys end of school day
While other girls go straight home, talking 'bout soaps, and then
I go home alone, and have dinner in my sweet home
Praying again, again and again, again again again again~ Ah~

I see the same faces in the school, oh
And they say that I am different
I think it's an honor, I say it's an honor, to be different
I can't go their way

Surfing subways, traveling somewhere
Nowhere, nowhere, no no, no no, oh~

I go home alone, and have dinner in my sweet sweet home
Praying again, again and again, again again again and

Now I'm seventeen, now I'm seventeen

 

歌詞不難，確實是高二生就能懂了。最膾炙人口的部份大概就是“I see the same faces in...” 那一段了！我不知道怎麼形容那個聲音。有人說聽她唱“And they say that I am different/ I think it's an honor, I say it's an honor, to be different/ I can't go their way...” 的時候，會感到「自己完全被她了解了」，很有意思，也許年輕的心總是會期待自己和別人有所不同，我也不能例外。

然而年歲漸長之後，我才領悟到，縱使我曾經認同“I say it's an honor to be different”，但其實我也是非常害怕和別人不同的。現在，內心的孩子漸漸長大，對於這首歌的耽溺也慢慢煙消雲散。自我定位、價值、……不是我要去苦苦追求、思索、抓取的東西，因為這些關於我的事在基督裡早已完整了，人生路上，我相信我總會明白。

P.S. 附上一個連結，想聽的朋友可以點這裡。中譯可以看這裡。